"What is toast?" says Snowman to himself, once they've run off. Toast is when you take a piece of bread -- What is bread? Bread is when you take some flour -- What is flour? We'll skip that part, it's too complicated. Bread is something you can eat, made from a ground-up plant and shaped like a stone. You cook it... Please, why do you cook it? Why don't you just eat the plant? Never mind that part -- Pay attention. You cook it, and then you cut it into slices, and you put a slice in a toaster, which is a metal box that heats up with electricity -- What is electricity? Don't worry about that. While the slice is in the toaster, you get out the butter -- butter is a yellow grease, made from the mammary glands of -- skip the butter. So, the toaster turns the slice of bread black on both sides with smoke coming out, and then this "toaster" shoots the slice up into the air, and it falls onto the floor...
"Forget it," says Snowman. "Let's try again." Toast was a pointless invention from the Dark Ages. Toast was an implement of torture that caused all those subjected to it to regurgitate in verbal form the sins and crimes of their past lives. Toast was a ritual item devoured by fetishists in the belief that it would enhance their kinetic and sexual powers. Toast cannot be explained by any rational means.
Toast is me.
I am toast.
An exerpt from Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake, an absolutely fabulous book!
Oh, May Long, how I am grateful for thee! You grant us pitious mortals a small bit of respite from the daily onslaught of stress and worry! Also, a brief extension for procrastination! Thank God for the May Long Weekend.
p.s. - I'll be back. I actually have a lot I would like to say, but I don't really want to bore everyone with a really long blog, like I tend to. So I've been trying to condense it in my mind, without much success. Blah.
I had the best time after school today. I got home and went to sleep. I must have slept 6 hours or so, because I only woke up at 11pm.
It was an interesting sleep, to say the least. I'm not really sure I was asleep the whole time, and I remember hearing rain on the roof, although I've been assured by others in the house that it hasn't rained and in fact it became very nice out. Weird.
Something that came to mind today: how can we believe almost anything in our society? The way it works, most people will tell you whatever they need you to think so that you'll need whatever they're selling.
What made me think of this was that someone recently told me we shouldn't have more than one healthy serving of milk per day. But a cereal box later informed me that we need 2 to 4 good servings of milk per day. I know barely anything about nutrition, and I don't know which is right. But I would be more inclined to believe the former, because an actual person told me that, while the cereal company won't make as much money if people won't eat as much of their cereal, which they won't do if they shouldn't have that much milk in a day!
Argh! Everything's a lie!
Tags: milk and cereal, cereal, cold cereal, cereal injuries???
